Excerpt: The Healing

Chapter One

I focused on the quiet, let it flow through my skin and settle in my bones as I moved through my yoga practice. Inhaling and exhaling. Steady and even. I uncurled from my final forward bend and relaxed into Corpse Pose.

Appropriate.

Ending in death.

It hangs heavy, dark and mysterious, a threat to the fragile human existence. A tantalizing secret just beyond our grasp. That final whisper, death, but not really. There’s the mini deaths we experience every day, the ones that come with change. And then there’s the philosophical concept of death that opens to life everlasting. And it would be remiss to overlook la petite mort, the blissful death of an amazing orgasm.

And then there’s me.

Things haven’t been the same since I died.

Twice.

It was interesting to be out-of-body, to watch the doctors and nurses work to bring me back, and absolutely amazing to experience the power of non-corporeal energy. Now that was a treat I wouldn’t mind having access to on a regular basis. But not the coming back. That part wasn’t any fun at all. I’m among the living again, albeit a new member of the unique subset of society who can claim a near death experience. Or two.

I’ll pass on any repeat performances.

For the past six weeks I’ve focused on healing from the physical and emotional scars that lingered after a fire destroyed Soma Herbal, my business, and the upstairs living space I used to call home.

A timer dinged softly in the background signaling the end of my relaxation time. I rolled to my side and eased onto my feet, stretching tall as I glanced out the picture window that overlooked the forest surrounding my sister’s cabin. My breath caught as I watched a pale grey fog swallow the mountains. A chill rippled down my spine and I consciously drew in a deep breath to fend off the sensation of being smothered. The morning fog had been doing that lately, closing in around me, heavy with the weight of my inner demons.

I snagged a jacket from the hook by the back door as the cool fingers of a shiver settled along my skin. The fog, heavy with moisture, followed the meandering path of the wind swirling in and out of complex patterns without focus or destination. A little like me, the fog. Scary thought. I shook off the melancholy and pushed my arms through the sleeves of the borrowed jacket. As I stuffed my hands deep into the pockets, my fingers curled around an acai bracelet and I fingered the seeds like prayer beads.

My footsteps crunched against the forest floor releasing the scent of pine as I began a walking meditation. I slowly and consciously became one with the elements. The footsteps that sounded behind me echoed with each repetition of the numeric sequence I counted on my acai bracelet.

I slowed my steps.

No point in trying to outrun destiny.

My pace faded to stillness and I braced my back against an oversized Douglas Fir, closed my eyes and focused on the sensation of the miniscule drops of fog that coated my face.

“It’s time to go home.” The ancient voice whispered through my mind and my eyes fluttered open. No one was there. Well, no warm, breathing, human body, but the presence was strong enough that it held me tightly to the fir. We’d done this dance every day for the past week or so—destiny, me, weaving through the intricate footsteps of avoidance and acceptance. So far I was ahead, but I’m guessing only by a figment of my imagination. Destiny always wins in the end.

I straightened my spine and pushed my shoulder blades against the tree. Maybe destiny had my future all planned out, but I wasn’t ready to fall into step quite yet. It hadn’t been two full months since my life burned to the ground. The fire took a fair portion of my skin and left enough scars on my back that I avoided three-way mirrors with diligent intention. I was healing. But not enough yet. Not enough to let destiny have its way.

And then there was Dominic. My body and soul connected with him on every level. My mind had yet to catch up. In it’s logical way, as minds are wont to do, mine shied away from the dark mystery that coated his aura.

I’ll probably never know if my thoughts call him to me, or if he has some raw, mystical ability that tells him when I need him. I’d bet on the raw, mystical ability, but then I’ve always sided with the ethereal. I inhaled deeply and caught the scent of exotic spice and seductive musk as it mingled with the dampness in the air. The inhalation was meant to be calming, to chase destiny away, but his scent stopped my heart and then sent it stuttering rapidly against my ribs.

He’d been coming to me for ten days. Meeting me in the woods. Walking me home to bed—not for sex. Not yet. Then he’d disappear into the silence of the forest. To where, I don’t know. Interesting how I welcomed this part of destiny’s plans, and so completely ignored the insistent message that it was time to go back home, back to Honolulu.

I pressed my palms against the rough bark of the tree and waited, keeping my eyes closed while my other senses focused on his essence as it circled around me. Awareness played with my mind, much more interesting than the sharp bite of fear warning me away from him.

Dominic’s warm hands framed my face, chased away the fear. He brushed his lips against mine. Not a kiss. It was a greeting. A recognition. A second out of time when the communication between us was soul deep.